Who makes decisions if my parent can no longer do so? 

There’s not really a moment when someone tells you, “your parent can no longer make decisions for themselves.” It happens gradually.

You might start noticing things, your mum has paid the same bill twice. Your dad can’t remember the conversation you had yesterday or take his medication on time. A decision that would once have been easy suddenly feels overwhelming for them.

Then often, something bigger happens. A hospital stay, a fall or a change in their health, and you’re being asked questions about care, finances or where they should live.

If you’re going through this, it can be hard to know where helping ends and making decisions on their behalf begins.

Here’s what you need to know.

Your parent may still be able to make some decisions. needing help doesn’t automatically mean your parent has lost the ability to make their own decisions.

Capacity can be specific to the decision in front of them. Someone may find it difficult to understand a complicated financial matter, but still know exactly where they want to live, who they want around them and what is important in their daily lives.

Before assuming you need to take over everything, consider whether your parent could decide with just a little extra support. Could the information be explained more simply? Would it help to have the conversation at a different time of day? Can you give them more time rather than expecting an immediate answer?

Keeping your parent involved for as long as possible can help them maintain a sense of independence and control at a time when many other things may be changing.

Check whether they have an Enduring Power of Attorney

If your parent is finding it difficult to make decisions, one of the first practical things to establish is whether they have an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPOA).

In Queensland, an EPOA allows a person to nominate someone they trust to make certain decisions for them. Depending on how it has been set up, this can cover financial matters, personal and health matters, or both.

If your parent has an EPOA, find the document and check who has been appointed. Don’t assume it is you simply because you are their closest family member.

If they don’t have one but still have the capacity to make an EPOA, this may be a good time to speak with them about it and seek appropriate legal advice.

An EPOA generally can’t simply be created by the family once a person has lost the capacity required to make one.

What if there’s no Enduring Power of Attorney?

This is often where families start to stress, particularly if a decision needs to be made quickly. Not having an EPOA doesn’t mean there is no way forward.

In Queensland, there are processes for making decisions when someone no longer has capacity. For some health matters, a statutory health attorney may be able to make decisions.

For more significant personal or financial decisions, the Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) may need to become involved. QCAT can appoint a guardian to make certain personal and lifestyle decisions or an administrator to manage financial matters.

If you’re in this situation, getting legal or professional advice can help you understand what applies to your family rather than trying to navigate it alone.

What if the decision is about moving into aged care?

This can be one of the hardest conversations of all. Maybe your parent is adamant they want to stay at home, but you’re worried about falls. Maybe they’re no longer managing meals or medication safely. Or perhaps you’ve reached the point where the amount of care they need is more than you and your family can provide.

There can be a lot of emotion wrapped up in this decision, for everyone.

Even when your parent can no longer make the decision entirely on their own, try to keep the conversation focused on them. What would make them feel comfortable? What routines matter? Would they prefer somewhere social and busy, or quieter? What belongings would they want around them? What would make somewhere new feel a little more like home?

If possible, visit potential homes before making a decision. A tour of HillView Care gives you the chance to see the Merrimac or Ashmore residence for yourself and ask questions about your parent’s individual care needs.

It can also help to take your parent with you if they’re able. Even if they need support making the final decision, seeing the home and being included in the process can still be important.

You don’t need to wait until something goes wrong

If your parent is still independent, talking about EPOAs, future care and residential aged care can feel premature. But having these conversations when there isn’t an immediate crisis can make them much easier.

Ask your parent what they would want if their health changed. Find out whether they have an EPOA and where it is kept. Talk about who they trust to help with decisions. You might even visit an aged care home together simply to understand what the options look like.

Applying for a Power Of Attorney.

And if you’re already at the point where your family needs to consider residential aged care, remember that you don’t have to know all the answers before you start asking questions. Contact HillView Care to talk about your parents’ circumstances, the care they may need and what the next step could look like.