Helping a parent transition into aged care: where to start

Unfortunately, there’s no exact handbook to help you with everything that comes with moving a parent into an aged care home. If you’re here, it probably means you’re looking for some tips on how to make this transition easier, for both you and your parents.

Whether it’s come on gradually or after a sudden medical emergency, moving into aged care is a big change for everyone. The good news is, there are practical things you can do to make the journey a little easier. Here’s where to start.

Don’t rush the conversation

Starting the conversation about aged care can be tough – even though you both know it’s the best decision because your parents can no longer live alone independently, or stay where they are currently living. There can be worry about losing independence and anxiousness about the unknown.

The key is not to treat it like a one-off talk. This subject needs to be navigated gently, early, and often. Acknowledge how they feel. Let them be part of the decision-making process wherever possible. Every individual wants to feel heard, respected, and in control of their life.

You could start with:

“I’ve noticed you’re finding things around the house a bit harder lately. Would it help to look at some extra support options together?”

Organise an Aged Care Assessment

Before you can even consider aged care placement, you’ll need an ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team) assessment. This is how your parent becomes eligible for government-subsidised aged care services.

This can be requested through My Aged Care, or your parent’s GP can help organise it. They may need your support throughout the assessment, it’s always good to have another set of ears and someone who can give honest context.

Tip: Be honest about your parent’s needs during the assessment. It’s not about what they wish they could do – it’s about what they’re really managing on a day-to-day basis.

Start researching Gold Coast aged care homes early

Even if you’re not sure when the move will happen, it’s worth looking into homes quite early. Visit a few. Go on some tours. Ask questions. Take your parents if they’re up to it, as it can help them visualise life there and make the idea less scary.

What to look for:

• Clean, warm, friendly environments
• Happy and engaged residents
• Kind, attentive staff
• Flexible visiting hours
• Activities that suit your parent’s interests

Ask about the food, the routine, how they manage medical needs, and what daily life actually looks like.

At HillView Care, for example, residents receive support that is tailored to their individual needs, ongoing opportunities for social interaction, fresh chef-prepared meals, and lots of fun and engaging events and activities.

Plan the move like you would a house move

Packing up a lifetime of belongings is emotional and overwhelming – we’ve all moved house and know how it feels. Help your parents sort through their things slowly, giving them time to reflect and decide what to take.

Focus on bringing comfort and familiarity to their new room:

• Favourite photos, artwork or memorabilia
• A familiar doona or blanket
• Books, puzzles or hobbies they enjoy

Expect a settling in period

Even if your parents were ready for the move, adjusting can take time. Some days might be harder than others. It’s normal. They’re getting used to a new routine, meeting new people, and possibly the loss of the familiarity of a home they have lived in for a very long time. 

At this time it’s so important to stay connected – visit, call, bring grandkids or friends. But also give them space to settle in and form relationships. Chat to HillView staff about how they’re adjusting; they’re a great source of insight.

Look after yourself too

You might be feeling guilty, second-guessing your decisions, or simply exhausted. That’s pretty common. Moving a parent into aged care is one of the most emotional decisions you can make.

Give yourself a break. Reach out for support from family or friends. If your parents are safe, supported and cared for, you’ve done the right thing. 

Moving into a Gold Coast aged care home

Basically, it’s important to start small. Have honest conversations. Involve your parents in all the choices. And lean on professionals, like the team at HillView Care who can help guide you through all the different steps. 

We’re here to support both residents and families and will do everything we can to make the move as gentle, respectful and reassuring as possible. Contact us for more information!